Saturday, February 25, 2012

The Honest Dictionary

CIGARETTE:
A pinch of tobacco
rolled in paper
with fire at one end
and a fool at the other!



MARRIAGE:
It's an agreement
wherein
a man loses his bachelor degree
and a woman gains her master



DIVORCE:
Future Tense
of Marriage



LECTURE:
An art of transmitting Information
from the notes of the lecturer
to the notes of students
without passing through the minds
of either



CONFERENCE:
The confusion of one man
multiplied by the
number present



COMPROMISE:
The art of dividing
a cake in such a way that
everybody believes
he got the biggest piece



TEARS:
The hydraulic force by which
masculine will power is
defeated by feminine water-power!



DICTIONARY:
A place where divorce comes
before marriage



CONFERENCE ROOM:
A place where everybody talks,
nobody listens
and everybody disagrees later on



ECSTASY:
A feeling when you feel
you are going to feel
a feeling
you have never felt before



CLASSIC:
A book
which people praise,
but never read



SMILE:
A curve
that can set
a lot of things straight!



OFFICE:
A place
where you can relax
after your strenuous
home life



YAWN:
The only time
when some married men
ever get to open
their mouth



ETC:
A sign
to make others believe
that you know
more than
you actually do



COMMITTEE:

Individuals
who can do
nothing individually
and sit to decide
that nothing can be done
together



EXPERIENCE:
The name
men give
to their
Mistakes



ATOM BOMB:
An invention
to bring an end
to all
inventions



PHILOSOPHER:
A fool
who torments himself
during life,
to be spoken of
when dead



DIPLOMAT:
A person
who tells you
to go to hell
in such a way
that you actually look forward
to the trip



OPPORTUNIST:
A person
who starts taking bath
if he
accidentally falls
into a river



OPTIMIST:
A person
who while falling
from EIFFEL TOWER
says in midway
"SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!"



PESSIMIST:
A person
who says that
O is the last letter
in ZERO,
Instead of the first letter
in OPPORTUNITY



MISER:
A person
who lives poor
so that
he can die RICH!



FATHER:
A banker
provided by
nature



CRIMINAL:
A guy
no different
from the other,
unless he gets caught



BOSS:
Someone
who is early
when you are late
and late
when you are early



POLITICIAN:
One who
shakes your hand
before elections
and your Confidence
Later



DOCTOR:
A person
who kills
your ills
by pills,
and kills you by his billS

4 comments:

  1. some are funny monsoon but true..an ouch for some of those facts but it is indeed true in our real world..few words on each word described but you definitely hit the right spot..every message is so clear..passing by monsoon *hugs* ;)

    ReplyDelete
  2. These are so hilarious. Thanks for following me. Following back.
    www.thoughtsofpaps.com

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hi, thanks dearies for liking...& thanks for passing by n commenting tho! love u guys. STAY BLESSED!!!
    @paps, u're always welcm dear .♥
    @SIE, u're so sweet ♥ .yups some r funny but true, lolz..anyways, thanks for the kind words my dear friend..love u.. *hugs back*

    ReplyDelete
  4. hi monsoon78! i am so loving this honest dictionary
    and all your inspirational posts ;)

    ReplyDelete